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 Ectos: A story of a guild

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Scott Ware
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PostSubject: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 11:58 am

Pull up a chair boys and girls, it's time for a story.

Once upon a time there was a guild. Nay, a family. Like every family, this guild had it's issues. But it came together and overcame those issues. One day, a little boy joined this family and slowly rooted himself into all the fabric of the guild. Ok, let's be honest, that boy really was a man and in all honesty, he wasn't that little (but he's working on it, damnit (shit, not supposed to cuss telling a story (fuck, did it again))). MOTHER FU..... um, moving on.... OK, so this little boy decided one day to scour the guild hall looking for things to do. So he map-traveled, map-traveled, and map-traveled some more. When he finally made it to the guild hall (God only knows why it took him so long to find the place, all he had to do was hit "G") he noticed a crazy looking blob at the top of the stairs shouting random things like "I'm the king of the world". And yes, we all love you too, Amaretto Creme. You have a problem.

It was a nice guild hall. Plenty of light, nice decorations, henchmen to guard the place, and your own personal storage chest with 24 hour storage service standing right next to you to make every transaction smooth and convenient. After looking around for a bit, this "guildie" (that's what they called those family members) noticed a peculiar flower. After careful inspection, he determined that it was indeed a Red Iris Flower. That flower is not uncommon, but still special. See, those were the favorite flowers of his long-time crush, Gwen. Turns out, she's a bit of a whore, but that's another story for another day (I hear she gives good [Head] - whatever that's supposed to mean). So he picked the flower from the root and decided to bring the flower to Gwen in hopes of sparking a romance. Well, that didn't happen. Some muscle-bound, meat-headed warrior apparently showed up an hour or so before him and she chose him. Like I said, bit of a whore.

All was not lost, though. On the way to the Eye of The North, he noticed a huge sexy creature that went by the name Jora. She was magnificent in all ways that a woman should be. Tall, strong, independant, good looking, HUGE... um, ears. And a thought occurred to him: If Gwen likes flowers, I'll give Jora a TREE! So he thought "Where would the perfect tree be? Wait, I remember seeing one in the guild hall" So he map-traveled, map-traveled, and map-traveled some more (still haven't learned how to hit the damn "G" yet, have ya?). "Now where was this tree that I saw before? Oh, hi Amaretto Creme. Still drinking tonics, I see. Nice looking Yeti! You really nailed that transformation." But this was no time for small talk, he had a tree to cut down. He began searching for the perfect tree to cut down. It had to be big enough to do justice to Jora's size, but still small enough to make her feel like the woman she was.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed. The perfect happy tree was found in a corner of the guild hall, forever to be called "Bob Ross' corner". He pulled out his big Destroyer Axe and began cutting down the tree of happiness. About three chops in, a little elf appeared next to him.

"Oh, hey there Amaretto Creme. I'm just chopping down this tree, here, for my Jora. She's gonna be so happy."
"I'm not Laynie, you little fucker. I'm the keeper of Bob Ross' corner and you're destroying the happy tree. Stop now, or I will eat your soul."

The guildie was intimidated at first, but he realized that this was just an elf so he continued.

Feeling confident, he said "Little elf, go away now. I have important things to do. Once I'm done with this tree, I may just cut that one down, too (/point). Just to piss you off."

That was not a wise choice. Just then, the little elf drank a tonic no one had ever seen before and turned into a giant vortex. The vortex (/taunt)ed the love sick boy, then sucked the soul from his body. The lifeless body hit the floor, twitching for two days. Any remnant of life was consumed by the swirling mass and left only flesh as a reminder.

Moral of the story: Don't antagonize the little elf in Bob Ross' corner. You will surely die.
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Grace
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 12:45 pm

LMFAO!!!! /cheer
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amaretto creme
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 2:08 pm

That was awesome. Very Happy
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Roman
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 3:25 pm

story fails, it forgot the turtle(who is named Robert Paulson btw). Any story of the guild hall needs to mention the pet turtle of ectos.
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Scott Ware
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 3:34 pm

Roman wrote:
story fails, it forgot the turtle(who is named Robert Paulson btw). Any story of the guild hall needs to mention the pet turtle of ectos.

I think this charade has gone on long enough. I'm sorry to break the news to you, and especially this way. Rober Paulson died 2 months ago. Not to point fingers, but Laynie was left in charge and she forgot to feed him. We got a replacement. But we can still call him Robert Paulson if you want.
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Grace
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 3:44 pm

haha ! I didn't know ya all named the turtle thats cute! I wish the 'pre-like' guildhall skin had a rabbit. actually all halls need an animal (besides the gulls/birds - cool and all but just makes me duck and run to avoid getting bird poo on my head hahah!)
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 4:00 pm

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amaretto creme
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 4:57 pm

Who told you that, John? I feed him every day and he has more than enough foliage to munch on when he's hungry. Razz

I mean, I'm not doin anything else. XD
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 5:02 pm

amaretto creme wrote:
Who told you that, John? I feed him every day and he has more than enough foliage to munch on when he's hungry. Razz

I mean, I'm not doin anything else. XD

So, basically, what you're saying is you give "turtles" plenty of "foliage" to "munch on". Duly noted. Wink

Just a thought: Don't you think you would get more turtles to munch if there was less "foliage" to get in the way? Just sayin'


Last edited by Scott Ware on 2009-12-14, 5:15 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 5:08 pm

i like my "turtle handler" to be "foliage" free, if you catch my drift...
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 5:17 pm

I love that NOTHING can be said without it turning into something perverted. Razz

<3 you guys, but seriously. Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 5:23 pm

amaretto creme wrote:
I love that NOTHING can be said without it turning into something perverted. Razz

<3 you guys, but seriously. Razz

Choose your words like your turtles: Carefully!
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-14, 5:48 pm

Foliage sounds better than plants.

Plants is just boring. Razz
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Grace
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-16, 7:01 pm

whoa whoa... dont say plants are boring. the word plants okay maybe.... LOL!

i think no matter the word chosen they are still going to say they like a well groomed garden and not all the weeds.... -cough-
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-16, 11:05 pm

I know. There was NO way around that.

I still like the word foliage better than plants, which is why I use it. XD
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Kirabi Wutang
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-17, 12:40 am

Shrubbery?
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Scott Ware
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-17, 10:05 am

Kirabi Wutang wrote:
Shrubbery?

With a little path, right down the middle.
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2009-12-17, 5:10 pm

shrubbery LMAO!! too funny.
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PostSubject: Re: Ectos: A story of a guild   2010-02-11, 7:29 pm

POSTING RANDOM AND RETARDED SHIT IS THE FASTEST TITAN GEM FARM I HAVE EVER SEEN
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